Let’s be honest - female sexuality is multifaceted, a bit like an onion. There are layers to it, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Quite the opposite in fact. It starts by recognising that in our modern society, a big problem is that we’re looking at female sexuality through a masculine lens. We may have the same parts arranged in different ways, but when it comes to sexuality and arousal, men and women are vastly different.
It's not uncommon for women to struggle with reaching orgasm or accessing their full pleasure potential. You’ll see stats all over the internet claiming anywhere from 5-15% of women never orgasm. But it’s important to remember, these statistics include a LOT of women who haven’t orgasmed yet. Many are pre-orgasmic meaning they haven’t had an orgasm yet, but will later. If this is you, the good news is, you're not alone! Just know that you are capable of reaching orgasm. In this guide, we'll explore some common reasons why women struggle with orgasms, and provide practical tips and techniques for overcoming those obstacles.
Reasons Why Women May Struggle With Orgasms:
- Lack of Knowledge: Many women simply don't know enough about their bodies and how they work. This can make it difficult to know what feels good and how to achieve orgasm.
- Performance Anxiety: Pressure to perform, whether from a partner or from societal expectations, can make it difficult to relax and enjoy the moment.
- Negative Body Image: Women who are not comfortable with their bodies may have difficulty letting go and fully experiencing pleasure.
- Many of our mainstream maps of sex are based on male arousal. This leaves many women (and some men) feeling like there’s something wrong with them because their arousal system doesn’t zoom from 0-100 like that *snaps fingers*. In reality, we’ve been handed a faulty map right from the get go.
- Our relationship models are too simplistic. Culturally, we’re caught up in the myth of true love that lasts forever and doesn’t require care and feeding. Real relationships can be romantic, but they’re not a starry-eyed fairy tale. They’re challenging and require emotional maturity and hard work seasoned with a plentiful measure of play.
Tips for Overcoming Orgasm Difficulties:
- Educate Yourself: Learn as much as you can about your body and how it works. Read books, watch videos, and explore your own body through self-exploration. The more you know, the more confident and empowered you'll feel.
- Focus on Pleasure, Not Performance: Instead of putting pressure on yourself to achieve orgasm, focus on enjoying the sensations in your body. Take the pressure off and let yourself get lost in the moment.
- Practice Self-Care: Taking care of your body and mind can help you feel more comfortable with yourself and more relaxed during sexual experiences. This can include things like exercise, meditation, and spending time doing things you enjoy.
- Experiment: Don't be afraid to try new things and explore your sexuality. This can include using sex toys, trying new positions, and exploring different forms of stimulation.
Every woman deserves to experience the full pleasure potential of her own body. If you're struggling with reaching orgasm or accessing your full pleasure potential, don't give up! With a little knowledge, practice, and self-care, you can overcome those obstacles and unlock a world of pleasure you never knew existed. So go forth, explore your body, and most importantly, have fun doing it.